Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
