They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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