I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
