wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
