I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
