We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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