Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
