Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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