drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize