How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
