Can Purell be used as lube?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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