gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize