We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
its not stalking. its research.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
