i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
A+ Viking dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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