He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
