I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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