that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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