if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
