I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
