i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
