apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
