We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
