And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
