You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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