Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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