you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
