i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have feelings that need drinking.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
