Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
