You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm always down for nudity.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize