WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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