She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
