don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't deserve a penis
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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