We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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