I heard we made out
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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