im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
