i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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