i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
