It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
