Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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