I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize