i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
