so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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