My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
