So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
