so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize