The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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