I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
