There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My ass is underappreciated
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
