I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
