yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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