You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
How's work?
Spinning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
