Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
