:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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