That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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