He uses pillows to masturbate.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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