i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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