i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
