mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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