If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
