Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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