found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I need to align my fucking chakras
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