And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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