hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
