So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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