you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
