he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
