i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
