areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
